Category: Erma Bombeck

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
-Erma Bombeck

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
-Erma Bombeck

“Children make your life important.”
-Erma Bombeck

“It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.”
-Erma Bombeck

“If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.”
-Erma Bombeck

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
-Erma Bombeck

“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
-Erma Bombeck

“Never order food in excess of your body weight.”
-Erma Bombeck

“Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.”
-Erma Bombeck

“Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.”
-Erma Bombeck